Rustedwater

(Describe your neighbors.. the real ones, not here in vox land)

The perfect question for me.   Looking out my front door, (across the street) I see my busy neighbor "Chuck, Chuck, Bo Buck, Banana Fanna Fo Fu...."  Another day, another project.  He's retired, has a GIANT "golf ball on a tee" mailbox, and is alway outside working on something.  To the immediate left of him, is the "Lawnmower Man" & Family.  I've only briefly met them... a quiet couple raising their teenage grandchild.  Anyway, he has one of those crazy little red push mowers.  Very old school, yet very environmentally friendly.  I want one.  Keep looking left... the next house over was recently purchased by the "New Kids On The Block".  A very young couple... I'd say early twenties.  I'm not sure what the chick does, but the dude is a CFI (Certified Flight Instructor).  And if you zoom back over to the right of Chucks house, you'll see the "Gals".  Two middle aged women.  I think they're both nurses... maybe.  I'm not sure if they're sisters, friends, married, cousins, dating... no clue.  Okay, now on my side of the street.. two houses to my left would be "Nicks Family".  He is a friend of my son, and I don't remember any of their names.  To my immediate left, is the home of the "Good Neighbors". A very friendly, normal quiet Christian family of four.  Couldn't ask for better neighbors!  Now for the neighbors on the right side of my house... I will need a new paragraph.

This is the dreaded house of the "Bad Neighbors"!  Another family of four.  For this particular family, we have individually named every person.  The man is "Assh*le". Naturally.  The woman is "Barney" (she only wears purple. ever. shoes, socks, pants, shorts, dresses, jackets, hats, nightgown which she comes outside in. ewww.) A.K.A. "Crackhead" .... The kids.... I'm not even going to go there. Well, maybe a little.  The son (11yrs old) has been named "Gameboy"  He never plays outside, and i mean NEVER,  he yells and hits his mom and sister, and is never ever punished.  Did I mention he's glued to a game system 24/7?  The girls (9 yrs old) name is "Little Beeotch".  She cusses and tries to get other kids in trouble.  After the first month we lived here, she was no longer allowed in my house, and eventually not allowed to play with my son. (she liked to write on the walls among other thins)  SO why are they the "Bad Neighbors" you may ask?  We moved to into this development 5 years ago.  And that's when the problems started.  I won't mention every little thing, because I, and you, would be here all day.  But the most annoying, stupidest, moronic, freaking crackhead things that they have done... will be discussed.  I should put that in a whole nother paragraph too....

Numero Uno... Barney started a fire on her deck.  Imagine walking around the side of your house and seeing a crackhead looking woman, all dressed in purple of course,  standing over a tiny plastic trashcan, with three foot flames coming out of it.  yeah.  that's what I said.  what.  the.  f*ck?  The little trash can was melting, and she was still throwing more paper into it.  wow.  My mother in law was over that day, and asked if she had a hose.  Long story short.  WE put out the fire with OUR hose.  Their deck had a big black spot on it and her legs were covered with soot.   ..... crackhead.   OK, numero dos.   So they got a dog.  No problem.  I have two dogs.  BUT mine are very well trained and behaved and they STAY IN THEIR OWN YARD!!  (no fences) They tied their dog to the corner of the deck, and the other end of the 50 foot rope... reaches to the opposite end of our property.  I have plenty of pictures of the dog digging and shitting in my backyard... and spoke to them several times about this too long rope problem.... anyway to resolve this problem, I took the high road and put up a six foot fence. (Only between us and them, nothing on the "Good neighbor" side, or our back in the woods)  :)  The "A-hole" was pissed because now he can't get his little aluminum boat out of his backyard. (It hasn't been used in 4 years), But we told him about the dog several times, and he did nothing....SO that's what happened.  Which brings me to number three on the most annoying crap list.  Rewind to just BEFORE the fence was put up.  We decided to build a deck.  Me and my husband did it all ourselves, so we found the property markers and put up a stringline.  Wouldn't you know, 'someone' came by everyfreakinnight and cut it into several pieces.  How do I know it was "Barney" you ask?  Not only is she out back smoking away everyday and night... watching everything we do and bending over anytime there are guys outside.  annoying.  and gross.  But, the only people that come down this street are those that LIVE on this street. (It loops out to the main road).  And in order for anyone else to cut this line, they would have to be strolling down the sidewalk, with scissors, then happen to see the stringline, then walk across our front yard to the back, and do all that madness for no apparent reason.  dumb.  After several nights of this stringline drama, we solved yet another problem with wit... and a big can of flouresent orange spray paint.    And speaking of cutting things, the tie down strings to our blow up Santa got cut too...  who would do that to Santa??!!  

And so... in conclusion... I love this neighborhood.  I love this street.  I love my house and yard.  But I LOVE LOVE LOVE my six foot fence. :)

For as long as I can remember, I just cannot bring myself to eat red m&m's.  Voluntarily that is.  To my husband, this is the most annoying thing in the world.  Peanut and peanut butter M&M's are pretty much the only candy I like, so he buys me a big bag every once in a while, and after a few days when he pours himself a handful, only to find a sea of red ones... It's time for "The red ones taste just like the rest of them!" speech.  Man, that ticks him off.  I don't want to throw them away.. that would be a waste. I know they are no different than say the blue or yellow m&m's... but my mind won't allow me to eat them.

Sounds like a futuristic children's book.  Maybe I should copy write that?  How does this work I'm wondering... blogging that is.  Is it an online journal?  Do people make 'friends' in their 'neighborhood' and read what they're thinking about everyday?  I spent three hours exploring this site trying to figure out what the purpose of a blog is.  I'm continuing my internet journey today.    To be continued...